Sorry

Did I fail? As a cousin, an ate, did I fail?

I wanted to be with her that day. To tell her things are going to be okay, no matter what. That she needn't be scared, need not care what the outcome is, even though it might matter the world to the rest of the family.

Because fear and pressure drive us further down, this I know well. I wanted her to understand that she can step out of that, even for just a few hours.

I never knew if she was indeed afraid. Or how she felt at all that day. Didn't see her eyes. Wasn't able to catch her. I had. to go. to work. And I'll regret it, that choice I made, for the rest of my life.